Leaders lead out of trust. Trust accelerates momentum, eases conflict and overcomes mistakes. However, trust has a dark side. When someone says, “I don’t trust” it can indicate more work needs to be done in that relationship. It can be a call to listen, to have a conversation about where the trust was lost. It can also be an invitation to the dark side. “I don’t trust” can also mean, “Things have to go my way or I will not trust.” It can mean, “I will not be open to any feedback from you.” When people only give trust when things are done according to their wishes, the idea of trust then becomes manipulation.
“What will it take to earn your trust?” is a great conversation. But there may be times when earning someone’s trust would mean jumping through hoops, never speaking the challenging word, and ignoring issues. If that is what it takes to earn trust the price is too high.
Leaders must be strong in their spirit, not overbearing, but healthy. We must lead in ways worthy of trust, knowing that some will only choose to trust when it is convenient. Sometimes the price of trust is too high. And then it isn’t real trust anyway!