It happens all of the time. Someone is hurting, overcome in anguish and loss, and the natural response is “Don’t feel that way.” Haven’t we discovered that feelings are not so easily controlled? Don’t feel that way? Too late, I already do!
What happens next can be classic. When another does not “receive” our encouragement we can begin to experience frustration, as if we are given no weight or power in their life. But what if the moment called for something other than encouragement? What if in the midst of loss, instead of encouragement (This too shall pass! Things will get better!), what the person really needed was comfort? What if pouring out their loss was the step they really needed – BEFORE encouragement?
That is one of the reasons followers of Christ must be sensitive to the Spirit. It can be natural to try to “fix” the person, remove the negative feelings, but the way to do so might be more about listening than talking them out of it! Comfort enters their pain, it does not attempt to pull them out of it.
There may be another reason why encouragement doesn’t work. The real power of encouragement in the realm of the Kingdom goes far beyond shifting the focus to something positive. It far outdistances hype and empty declarations about the future. The real power of encouragement is when we love a person enough to sit with the Lord about them, asking Him what He would like to say to them.
The prophets of old often had encouraging words. They would tell the people their season of catastrophe was not forever, that God was coming (though sometimes 70 years into the future!). However, their words were from HIM! Those were the encouraging words. Those words, from the Lord Most High who declares the current moment is not forever, that He is moving, that He can redeem – those are the words that bring life.
The real power of encouragement is catalyzed by a move of the Spirit so the encourager actually carries an anointing from the Lord. Then the word is released. Then the one under the dark clouds can choose to walk in the blessing already declared. Encouragement is far beyond a human “feel better” superficial hope and surface words. It is a breath of the Spirit to bring life and future and can only come thru those who are alive to the Lord!