I’ve written a number of posts about conflict, getting hooked, etc. My discovery is that leaders can LOSE LEADERSHIP in those moments that may never be regained. Conflict management (not conflict avoidance) is a significant leadership skill.
How do we lead “hot moments” full of emotion and high stakes?
1. Get yourself to emotional neutral so that you are not easily hooked. Work to stay neutral emotionally throughout the whole conversation. Emotionally neutral frees us to think – lead the conversation and avoid the hooks.
2. Keep the pace of the conversation such that you can lead it. Refuse to react and speak quickly. Put pacing as a key factor and slow down your mind and your mouth. Pacing can open options, our eyes and our ears to the way home.
3. Lead from the center of the other person’s calling (who God made them to be and what that implies), rather than anger.